Women with ADHD
Embracing Your Unique Self
“Understanding ADHD isn’t a matter of accepting limitations, but of embracing possibilities”
-Dr. Thomas E. Brown
ADHD is a highly heritable neurodevelopmental disorder. It affects multiple areas of the brain, impacting many areas of life and functioning. ADHD is characterized less by a lack of attention and more by a lack of focus and/or motivation. Individuals with ADHD may experience difficulty prioritizing tasks, keeping track of time, and holding sustained focus (especially if the stimulus is not interesting to them). These struggles are IN NO WAY a measure of one’s intelligence or integrity. And the truth is that even though ADHD comes with inherent struggles, it also comes with many unique strengths……
Have you experienced the following:
Feeling overwhelmed by day-to-day life
Feeling like you are different from others, but you are unsure why
Feeling like everyone else knows something you don’t about how to succeed at life
Feeling internally chaotic even when you are externally achieving great success
An ongoing feeling that you are going to “get in trouble” or be rejected
Emotional intensity that feels difficult to manage at times
Difficulty finishing tasks, especially those final little details
Difficulty concentrating and frequent distraction - jumping from task to task
Feeling like you just aren’t good at the things that women are “supposed to be good at”
Here’s the thing…….
Women with ADHD are statistically more likely to make it through childhood without receiving a diagnosis. Hyperactivity often presents differently in young girls than in young boys, and social conditioning differs. Many experts point out that the current diagnostic criteria for ADHD are geared specifically toward young boys. Research about ADHD in females also trails significantly behind research about ADHD in males.
Another reason for late diagnosis is that many women do such a great job of finding ways to cope with their ADHD that people on the outside may be unaware of what is they are experiencing internally. Her own “work arounds” may be effective enough to prevent her from seeking help for a long time. A woman with ADHD may be very high-achieving, even to the point that others doubt her diagnosis. But other’s do not see her internal struggle or understand that many types of achievement come at a greater cost for her than for her neurotypical peers. Even if they have been able to manage in the past, many women with ADHD reach a point in mid-life where the demands of life have become too great for the previous workarounds to accomodate. Hormonal changes in mid-life also tend to exacerbate ADHD symptoms in women. So a woman with ADHD who was “getting by” in her early 30’s may feel as though she cannot keep up with her life in her mid 40’s and be confused as to why this is the case.
Adult diagnosis in women is not unusual, and many women first discover that they may have ADHD when they are trying to figure out how to help their child who is struggling (remember, highly genetic). They fill out the questionaires and speak to the professionals about symptoms and realize, ”This is me….”. Sometimes a woman’s diagnosis actually follows her child’s diagnosis. Finding out you have ADHD as an adult can be both freeing and validating and devastating and grief-inducing. The self-understanding is key, but the grief of “What would be different if I had known?” can be heavy. It is important to process your past, learn about your brain and make adjustments to your life that play to your distinct strengths as a neurodivergent person.
imagine if you…
Understood the unique differences in how your brain functions.
We will go over educational information about ADHD and its impacts.
Experienced greater self-compassion and self-acceptance.
We will navigate feelings of shame and guilt and work to replace your negative self-beliefs with more positive, adaptive beliefs.
Felt hopeful about the future.
We will work together to identify coping strategies and life adaptations that will help you thrive and capitalize on your strengths.
I want you to know:
You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Let’s discuss what you need.